


The Bradley Bunch

by Bon (PlagueButt)



Category: LISA (Video Games)
Genre: Gen, card game death
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-09
Updated: 2016-10-14
Packaged: 2018-08-20 08:23:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8242726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PlagueButt/pseuds/Bon
Summary: this is written by my buddy Pinch, I'm just posting it.sequel to DIO COLLECTIVE





	1. The Bradginning

"Burmy."

Burmy wasn't Brad "Bradley" Armstrong, but it felt the urge to fulfill its destiny anyway. Unfortunately for him, however, a Ponyta found it first, and munched nonchalantly on his body while ignoring his screams. The Bug type shed a single tear as he felt his vision blurring. What had he done wrong? Since when did he deserve such a brutal, yet mundane demise?

"This show sucks," Buddy complained at the tragic sight on her television screen.  
"It beats Playboy Olathe Pay-Per-View," Brad Armstrong grumbled, fishing around for the TV remote. Harvey Alibastor nodded in agreement, rocking his Fairy Kei shoes like there was no tomorrow. He truly was the only worthwhile student in Fishman Law School, no doubt about it.

"BREAKING NEWS!"

The three looked towards the screen. A suit-wearing man held a manuscript of sorts, while his free hand dug for nasal gold.

"This is Terry Hintz reporting in. Witnesses are aghast at the sight of Colrado imploding on itself."  
"What the fuck is a Colrado?" Buddy asked.  
"The coolest state that ever was..." The fish lawyer clenched his fishy fists, sniffling. "How could this happen?"

"I smell a rat," Brad mused, sporting a frown of his own. He walked over to his computer, looking up addresses.  
The screen now displayed Colrado's final moments before it collapsed in one fell swoop. In its place, curiously enough, a large statue spawned, resembling a human hand with an extended middle finger. Brad's underwear began itching something fierce at the sight of it, only irritating him further.

"Looks like I've got to do everything around here..."  
"Hey, Brad?" Buddy piped up.  
"Yes?"  
"Don't forget to buy jelly-filled donuts before you come back."

He nodded, his heart pounding like Josuke's fists against the nearest wall whenever he misses a Scooby-Doo rerun.

 

TO BE CONTINUED


	2. Bradical Brunch

"Got any threes?"  
"Go fish, kiddo."

Isaac and Satan crouched in the candlelight of Sheol's deepest floor, playing cards in hand.

"By the way, Satan, did you hear about Colrado collapsing on itself just hours ago?"

The ancient doors then slammed open, Brad's silhouette clear as day in his seasoned, bald glory.

Satan scowled. "Hey, buddy. The game's already started."  
"Nevermind that," Brad responded. "I overheard you guys talking about the now-fallen state of Colrado, the state so rad that hazmat suits are required by most of the population?"  
"Weird, innit?" Isaac stood up, rubbing his chin. "You'd think there's an obvious answer to a mess that huge."  
"That's what I thought, too." But no amount of being sidetracked by 240p episodes of Monster Rancher on Youtube could bring Mr. Armstrong any closer to a successful online search on the matter. As his luck would have it, he did not live in such a optimal world.

"Well then, I'm sorry to bother you folks."  
"Hey, if you'd like to stick around, we're about to play Uno-"

"-PE!!!!"

A Wizoob was vaporized into super-undeath (to the bereavement of literally no one) by the shockwaves of the newcomer's voice, and the latter descended from the newly-formed hole in the ceiling. Such a beautiful face, tackle-ready pose, and unbelievably pungent Old Spice smell could only belong to one regrettably mortal man.

"GARY THE HOT SOUP will not allow SUCH FILTH to disgrace these dank floors!"

Brad couldn't believe it. An indisputably rad wrestler who despised that abominable card game as much as he?

"Sorry guys, but I agree with this man. Uno..."

He grabbed the entire deck, arm twitching.

"IS FUCKING GARBAGE!!"

The cards, too, were vaporized. And in doing so, a new alliance was forged.


End file.
